All
the News That Fits on This Page! It's
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Volume: Lots!
| Fowl
move on the
farm
Chicken in the bathroom surprises family By I.M.Cilley, United Nonsense News |
| FRIDDLEY, MAINE - It
was a typical
morning on a small Maine farm until Farmer Brown discovered that one of
his prize chickens was missing. After a lengthy search, the Browns
finally
located the missing bird in their bathroom
"Don't ask me how he got in there," Farmer Brown said. "With five kids, I hardly ever get in myself." The chicken was eventually coaxed out of the bathroom with the promise that he could use it on Saturday nights and before major state fair |
 competitions.
Police chief Malarkey
of
the Friddley police said he was relieved the bird had
been recovered unharmed. "I was just afraid there might be fowl play
involved,"
he said.
When asked for a comment, the chicken merely replied, "Buck buck buck, bu-cawlk!" Unfortunately, we have no idea what that means. For the complete report, see the song, "Chicken in the Bathroom." |
| "We can barely
sleep!"
Strange noises coming from woods, say neighbors By C.D.Bear - Furry Features Press
|
Diggers Discover Dinosaur
By Lotta Malarkey - National Silliness Syndicate
Researchers at the famed Wisconsin Institute of Technology have uncovered the fossilized remains of the largest dinosaur ever discovered, which they are calling the Humungasaurus.
When asked to describe the dinosaur, Dr. Thomas Fullery of W.I.T. said, "Well, it was big. Real big. And because of its huge size, it could do whatever it wanted to: stay up late, make noise, eat junk food. If I were a dinosaur, this is the kind I'd want to be."
Asked what happened to make the Humungasaurus become extinct, Dr. Fullery suggested that it probably didn't eat its broccoli. "We now believe that's what happened to most of the dinosaurs."